10 Essential Questions About Sexual Orientation: Unpacking Identity, Attraction, and Misconceptions

Sexual Orientation

Sexual orientation is a term used to describe a person’s profile of emotional, romantic, and sexual attraction to other individuals of a particular gender. Sexuality is more than the ability to reproduce; it also helps to define how we as humans view ourselves and interact with others.’

However, sexual orientation encompasses one’s feelings and sense of identity and is not always visible to others. The person may or may not act upon the nostalgic feelings that fill their heart.

Sexual orientation versus sex

Sex is physical, coherent biological categorizations of a person and is responsible for their structure of sex chromosomes, body parts, and hormones. Most people are classified as male, female, or intersex based on this. Sexual orientation, on the contrary, refers to whom they are struck with romantically or sexually and how they see themselves with regard to that.

Sexual orientation versus gender

Sexual orientation and gender identity are different components of an individual’s identity. Sexual orientation refers to an attribute that provides attraction to someone, while gender refers to an individual’s inner perception of themselves.  Gender can be thought of as a continuum where some people identify as female, some as male, whilst others may view themselves as falling somewhere in the middle. A person’s gender may or may not reflect their biological sex.

Sexual Orientation Types

While the experiences of others may differ, sexual orientation generally falls into the following common categories:

Heterosexual: Those who are termed heterosexual or straight fall in love with the opposite sex or are attracted emotionally, sexually, or romantically to the opposite sex (men thrown to women and women to men). 

Gay: It simply defines men attracted to men, while some women that are attracted towards women also identify this way; basically, a catch-all for people who are attracted to their same or similar gender.

Lesbian: A lady in love romantically or sexually with people of her own or different gender.

Bisexual people who think of themselves as bisexual tend to be those who are attracted to both the same sex and others. Bisexuality can imply an individual’s attraction to persons who may identify as male, female, or transgender, and that that individual may not necessarily have equal attraction to each gender. The identity of bisexuality is not negated or changed by dating a person of a certain gender.

Pansexual: Pansexuals feel romantic or sexual attraction to people of any gender. Pansexuality is commonly confused with bisexuality, though the two terms represent an essential difference: whereas bisexuals love more than one gender, pansexuals emphasize the idea that attraction does not depend upon gender—the focus is on the person, rather than his or her specific gender.

Asexual—Commonly called “ace,” people who identify as asexual experience little or no sexual attraction towards others. This implies, however, that for them the desire to have sex is generally absent; in other words, many asexual people often foster close emotional or romantic relationships. Some asexual people are also aromantic—the correct word for such people being that they do not experience romantic attraction—but others may desire romantic involvement without any sexual attraction. Asexuality is an umbrella term—some individuals can experience sexual attraction only under particular circumstances, whereas others may not perceive sexual attraction at all. 

Androsexual: This term describes those who are attracted to persons with masculine qualities, no matter their gender. Thus, an androsexual is someone who may be attracted to men, nonbinary persons, or others who express masculinity.

Gynesexual: This term describes those who are attracted to persons with feminine qualities, no matter their gender. Thus, a gynesexual is someone who may be attracted to women, nonbinary persons, or others who portray femininity.

Demisexual: Demisexual refers to an individual who experiences sexual attraction for the first time after an emotional connection develops between the two persons. Unlike persons who might find others attractive right away or based on appearance, demisexual individuals need first to build up a close connection. Queer: Queer is an umbrella term, representing different meanings for different people; it is often used to describe sexual orientation or gender identity that may not neatly fit into traditional labels. In earlier times, this term was used derogatorily, but members of the LGBTQ+ community have since reclaimed this term, embracing it as an empowering word in expressing their identities.

Questioning: This describes one who is exploring and deciding who he or she is attracted toward.

What Determines Sexual Orientation?

It is believed that sexual orientation is due to several reasons, largely a combination of environmental, emotional, hormonal, and biological. In other words, they arrive at a person’s sexual orientation in different ways through a medley of factors.

Sexual orientation does not arise out of how a child has been brought up, nor through any event from their childhood. To suggest that an individual being homosexual or bisexual is, therefore, mentally ill or in some way abnormal is incorrect. Some social burdens arise through discrimination and misunderstanding. 

How do people know their sexual orientation?

Many people appear to discover their sexual orientation while still teenagers or young adults, often absent of any prior engagements with sexual activity. For instance, one’s sexual thoughts and activities may focus on the same sex or both. One can fantasize or indulge in curiosity about same-sex relationships without being gay or bisexual. They may not act on those attractions.

A sexual orientation test

There’s no test that says what one’s sexual orientation is. Sexual orientation is personal, shaped by feelings, attractions, and experiences that vary with time. Online quizzes may provide some insights, but they are generally designed for a person’s self-reflection and not to yield a definite answer at a point in time.

Can sexual orientation be changed?

Experts agree that sexual orientation is not a choice and thus cannot be changed. People that are gay or bisexual may hide their sexual orientation so they do not experience prejudice from others or suit whatever shame they may have learned about sexual preference.

Attempts to change someone into heterosexual orientation, including so-called conversion therapy, are futile at best and may cause harm. This is not condoned by professionals. In fact, the American Medical Association states that it is “clinically and ethically inappropriate.”

Sexual orientation and discrimination.

People in the LGBTQ+ community have faced discrimination throughout history; that discrimination persists today. There are many forms such discrimination takes, such as unfair treatment at work, denial of housing or health care, bullying, harassment, and violence. In earlier periods, homosexuality was illegal in most places, as a result of which people were subjected to arrest or termination from their jobs simply for being open about their identity. Even now in many countries of the world, LGBTQ+ people may find themselves behind bars or worse, just for expressing themselves in a sexually open manner. 

Minority Stress Theory 

According to the minority stress theory, the theory intended to elucidate the social phenomena where people belonging to the sexual minority experience an additional burden as a consequence of discrimination, prejudice, and social exclusion. Direct exposure to bullying and rejection makes this experience a stressor, just as does the internal experience of the pressure not to disclose one’s identity. As stress accumulates over time, mental and physical health may break down, resulting in a greater likelihood of depression, anxiety, and other issues.
Now everyone fights sexual orientation discrimination. 

Everyone can engage in the fight against sexual orientation discrimination by learning more about LGBTQ+ issues, speaking out against injustices, and contributing to the work of organizations that promote inclusion policy.

If you have experienced discrimination based on your sexual orientation, you should know your rights and document the discriminating behavior. Depending upon the circumstance, you may be able to report this to an authority like a manager or a teacher, and that may have some consequences for the offending offender. It may help to explore LGBTQ+ communities or enlist the assistance of trusting counselors to provide emotional support. Legal representation from an attorney or advocacy group may be necessary to sue, depending on the incident.

What Else Are Some Support Groups for Those Struggling with Sexuality?

Support groups and organizations are available, and they provide assistance by helping someone devise systems to cope with the valid prejudices, biases, and stereotypes that many LGBTQ+ people struggle with at some point in their lives. An equal focus is on safety and rights, as well as health concerns.
Providers should follow guidelines and protocols for crisis treatment. Such treatment is usually located in a hospital or psychiatric inpatient unit. There is treatment for people experiencing an emergency in which they feel suicidal. For example, suicide risk is higher for LGBTQ+ people because studies indicate that, furthermore, assumptions show that families that reject their family members raise the risk for their children. 

If you are contemplating suicide or are worried about someone who might be, please seek out help. 

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached any time of day at 988. For LGBTQ youth ages 25 and under, you can reach The Trevor Project at 866-488-7386 to get help in crisis or to prevent suicide.

Key Points 

Sexual orientation is identifying who one feels emotionally, romantically, and sexually attracted to. In order for you to know your sexual orientation, you have to know yourself and your identity. The lives of individuals are different; that is, they can be altered or changed. There certainly is no right and wrong way of facing your emotion and coming to discover to whom you might be attracted. Talking with trusted friends, family members, or a therapist can make it easier for you.

Sexual Orientation FAQs

How do I know my sexual orientation?

You have to decide on this subject by yourself. Note the patterns of your emotional, romantic, and sexual attraction, and it is likely that your sexual orientation and understanding of it will indeed change or grow over time.

What is the difference between sexuality and sexual orientation?

Sexual orientation is one dimension of sexuality; it includes other means in which one expresses oneself via sexual feelings, behaviors, and sense of identity. Sexual orientation refers specifically to the gender(s) to which one feels attracted.

What is termed the “normal” sexual orientation?

Orthodox sexual orientation does not exist. That being said, everybody’s experience is unique; each and every form of sexual orientation is valid.

What is the meaning of sexual identity?

Sexual identity is how you define yourself based on sexual orientation. It helps in self-reflection and can bring you to a place of belonging in a community.

Is sexual orientation a choice?

Sexual orientation is not a choice; rather, it is something you’ll just find inside you; it is a part of you shaped by your emotions and experiences, one that cannot be changed. 

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